new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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