belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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