I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
