She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize