OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
