yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
