Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
