So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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