I wanna passion pit in your ass
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
