Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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