so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
