Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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