butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
