why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
