OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
