I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
