there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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