i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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