I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
