Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
