We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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