just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
