Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize