your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have fence marks all over my body
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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