how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
