he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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