I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
