the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
