she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
