You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
