Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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