Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
