I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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