Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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