I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
