Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
