I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
