Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
