Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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