Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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