Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
