I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
