Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
