Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
