Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I came so hard my ears popped.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
