im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were trust falling into bushes
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
