oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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