party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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