i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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