he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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