Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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