My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
