whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
