I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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