we're blogging at a bar
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
