trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
