Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
