I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
