The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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