i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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