he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
